1 Treading in puddles
Because look! Dry feet! This Gore-Tex membrane is reaping the rewards of my painstaking leather-nourishment programme! And besides, this is what adulthood promised – pudding for breakfast and all the puddles you can splash in! Although steady on old boy, it's getting up the back of your leg a bit and those trousers won't wash themselves.
2 Snuggly fleeces
Summer might hath all too short a lease but boy, how good is it pushing your head through the yielding neck of a fleece that had sunk to the bottom of the drawer? It's like wrestling a kitten or nuzzling a puppy! And tell you what, isn't having your arms covered ACE?
3 Layering up
What's the point in all that gear if you never deploy it? Summer's no respecter of the learning you've acquired over many seasons being talked at by a gear shop salesman. But Autumn sees you once again carefully apply wicking, insulating and water-repelling layers with the care and skill of a French polisher.
4 ‘I'm not sweating, I'm glowing!'
Because that's how we imagine ourselves, isn't it – apple-cheeked and aglow with the exertion of our chosen hobby, not like a sweat-drenched and delirious Brownlee brother weaving toward the finish line, as summer often chooses to portray us.
5 Hot drinks
Because electricity in the home, space-flight, microscopy and modern medicine are somehow easy to take for granted. But sweet coffee, succulent Bovril or fragrant chocolate still being hot hours since you made it, and you're drinking it outside? Now that's amazing.
6 Cold noses
Part of the pleasure of walking is a quiet pride in eschewing the luxuries others who lead a more coddled existence rely on. So it's good to feel a bit cold – there look, feel my nose – but not somewhere that it actually matters a jot.
7 Clouds of breath
You're a steam train! You're a dragon! You're smoking a huge cigar! You're a wally who's never quite grown up – and when simple pleasures are this much fun, wouldn't it be shame to have done so?
8 Dusk is falling – we’ve had a real adventure!
We've used up the whole of a day!
We must have come a long way.
The smell of the twilight is rather spell-binding.
Pour a drink; put the fire on; now we're unwinding.