How to decode the gear shop sales-speak

26 June 2008 16:09

Gear shop staff are often passionate and well-informed. But not always. Here’s how to spot a blagger, and the truth behind some of their best-loved lines…

“Lighter is better”
Lugging less leaves you with more energy for walking. That’s good. But it’s not good if along with the weight you’ve also given up something you really need. A super-light sleeping bag’s no good if it’s not warm enough; a rucksack with no padding is a pain in the back; and an ultra-light waterproof is just a rag if it tears the first time it touches rock. Really lightweight products are great if they let you do something extra or carry something useful you couldn’t have done before. Just make sure you’re okay with the trade-off.

“More expensive is better”
This is often true. But the scale isn’t linear:
a £100 pair of walking trousers is likely to be twice as good as a £50 pair of walking trousers, but it’s very unlikely to be only half as good as a £200 pair. Check where exactly the extra money is going. If it isn’t evident, don’t be afraid to ask. There’s no sense spending cash on features only one guy in Yosemite will actually use.

“Newer is better”
Innovations are incessant in outdoor gear, products which remain unaltered are far rarer. In the high-turnover world of retail it’s a real credit to a product to remain on shops’ reorder list for successive seasons. That new breakthrough innovation the sales assistant’s touting may genuinely be a future classic and worth every penny of its 100 per cent mark-up. There’s a simple way to find out: wait a year.

“A windproof fleece is a like a normal fleece only better”
Wrong. Windproof fleeces have very little of the insulating value of a normal fleece layer, and simply duplicate the wind-breaking property of your waterproof jacket.

“If you want dry feet you need boots with a membrane”
Hot, humid and confined, feet cause condensation in all leather boots, and none are breathable enough to keep up. But whereas in an unlined leather boot the condensation occurs between the outer leather layer and the inner layers and thus stays away from your foot, in a boot with a membrane it forms inside that membrane – closer to your foot. So, while a membrane in a boot will stop water getting in from the outside, it exacerbates the problem of hot feet and dampness from within.

“This sleeping bag’s Euro-rated to minus 10”
Sleeping bags are not subject to a uniform British temperature rating standard, which makes them hard to compare for warmth. A new European Standard (EN13537) was supposed to help matters, but experts like our own testers at the Leeds Uni Performance Clothing Research Group are sceptical as to the standard’s validity. What’s worse, Trail has found that manufacturers aren’t following the labelling guidelines contained in the standard – meaning you still can’t compare like-for-like figures without referring to an independent TOG test like those conducted by Trail.

“A washing machine’s all the aftercare your new jacket needs”
Your waterproof needs to be clean to keep you dry. Dirt doesn’t make a jacket leak, but it hurts its ability to ‘bead up’ water and stop the face fabric becoming soaked or ‘wetting out’. This matters because wetting out makes the fabric colder, which speeds up the condensation process inside, making you wet (see above). Washing is good for your jacket, then; but household washing powder attacks the durable water repellency (DWR) treatment that’s designed to help your jacket bead up, and leaves the fabric hydrophilic (water-attracting). Only use pure soap flakes or a dedicated cleaning agent to wash your jacket, and rinse the machine out twice before to make sure all trace of normal detergent is removed.

“You won’t get wet in this waterproof/beathable jacket”
Waterproofs will keep the rain off you, yes, but then waterproofing’s the easy bit. A bin bag is waterproof. The real battle for dryness takes place inside. Walking produces heat inside the jacket, which creates a temperature gradient with the outside world just like a single-glazed bedroom window. This causes the moisture in the air inside to condense on the jacket’s inside surface. Breathable fabrics perform excellently in lab tests where outside conditions are warm and dry. But in typically cool, humid British conditions no membrane is breathable enough to completely transport the moist vapour inside the jacket to the outside instead of it condensing out on the inside. Leaving your zip undone a bit and your cuffs loose gives it a fighting chance, but don’t expect to remain 100 per cent dry however much you spend.